


Five Times Sam Kissed Dean and One Time He Didn't

by Nisaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of canon events, Underage Kissing, five times fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 23:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: The many kisses Sam and Dean share over the years and the reasons behind them.





	Five Times Sam Kissed Dean and One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Just a drabble I wrote for a friend. Originally posted on tumblr

The first time he kissed Dean, it was out of spite. Another way for him to go behind his father, to be the disappointment of a son he was. And that night, he'd been so full of bitterness, so jealous of how his dad looked at Dean and smiled. How his eyes got soft around the edges with memories Sam was never meant to be a part of.

He's wanted so bad to destroy that. Tarnish the pretty picture of Dean.

He wasn't counting on Dean kissing him back. Wasn't counting on how soft Dean's touch was going to be, how reverent and loving. He wasn't expecting to lose his breath from how good it felt. For his heart to forgot the rhythm it beat with for all of his life and start a new symphony.

The second time he kissed Dean, it was out of need. Because Dean didn't dare meet his eyes after the first time, and because Sam got high on that first kiss. An addiction so strong nothing could remedy it. Sam had no choice but to go back for another taste. Dean had welcomed him with open arms, kissed him deep and gentle. Hot tongue and sweet caresses and Sam melted into his brother's strong arms. That kiss took all the night from them. Took a part of Sam's heart.

The third time he kissed Dean, it was out of fear. Fear that he might never see Dean again, that despite how many times Sam had apologized and explained and begged. Dean would only think of himself as a reason that pushed Sam to leave. That kiss tasted like sorrow. Sam ached all over, but his heart hurt the most. Dean's fingers weren't tender. There was a bruising need behind them. A fiery passion in the way they tugged Sam's hair, a consuming urge to keep and lock and own. That kiss itched Dean's pain into Sam's soul. His eyes stayed on the spot where Dean stood, long after he walked away.

The fourth time he kissed Dean, it was out of guilt. The glimpse of betrayal in Dean's forest green eyes when they settled on Jess before the light in them dimmed and a blank stare took over. Along with a cruel curl of lips; an ugly excuse of a smile that Sam had to wipe out with his lips. The flick of Dean's tongue in his mouth felt like a far lost hope, and Sam had never really realized how much he'd missed Dean till he had him in his arms, kissing him and his heart was light again. Dean pushed him back violently. Marched away rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth, trying to erase Sam's trace.

The fifth time he kissed Dean, it was out of helplessness. Dean's heart was about to give out on both of them, leave them with empty chests and cold bodies. Sam was so desperate to have that contact and Dean was too resigned to push him away. It was the first time Sam truly felt the size difference between them. He often forgot, how much bigger than Dean he was now. That moment when he held Dean in his arms and took over the kiss, Dean leaned into him just so, and he felt so small and vulnerable Sam wanted to scream. Dean fell asleep kissing him. Sam stayed awake.

The sixth time they kissed, it wasn't Sam initiating it. He never noticed that he was always the one to make the first move in all of their kisses, but when his chatter about which star belonged to what constellation was cut off by the warm feel of Dean's hand cupping his face, Sam's heart squeezed and his breath hitched. Dean stared at him, green eyes dark and intense. Sam held his breath for a moment, then Dean was there kissing the air back into his lungs. It reminded Sam so much of their first kiss. Slow brushes of lips and coaxing flicks of tongue and Sam felt the heat of it in his bones. Felt the wrong in his soul shift, and slot into place. Dean leaned in closer, fingers threaded in Sam's hair as he ate at his mouth.

He lowered Sam down till his back was to the glass of the car, the coolness of it on the back of his head. Dean pulled back and looked down at him; a question in his gaze. Sam tipped his head back and let his lids fall shut. Sighed at the plush give of Dean's lips against his again. They never stopped kissing after. Sam stopped counting.

First to last, million kisses. All out of love.


End file.
